Royal Scientific Tour- Pisa and Florence

Last weekend saw the transformation of five Ignorant Foreigners into models of Finest Italian Sophistication (TM).


Dorrissimo, Ainchetta, Scottichi, Karachini and Daniele started their Royal Scientific Tour of the Tuscan Heartland in the fair city of Pisa.


View from the Pisa hotel room:


It was here they discovered a new species of human being, namely the karate-chopperlingus which was found to have the uncanny charactieristic of walking only in poses not too dissimilar to those of a mentally-retarded ninja. Here are some samples:






A magnificent find for this coterie of indisputible wisdom.

Next, the team boarded a specially-designed German train which took them to Firenze. Which was kind of a mistake cos they were originally headed to Florence. The company will be persuing legal proceedings with the German train manufacturer at a later date.

Firenze involved lots of Eating, Walking, Seeing, Shopping, and Eating. Daniele consistently ate double the number of courses of the other band members, resulting in a slight side-to-side variation in his gait. A visit to one Tomato and Julia saw the procurement of half a cow hide for Daniele, which made him look 'hot', according to the female constituents of the group.


It is hypothesised that this has contributed to the group's consumption of copious amounts of Gelati throughout the expedition.


Ainchetta and Scottichi each procured footwear of a high funkosity, among many other things. Scottichi obtained a statue of the Statue of David. It was observed that detail in this and other statues was so fine that you could even see the pee-holes.


Karachini was endowded with a gift of purest sheep fur from the markets of Firenze. The shawl was of exquisite quality, and Suited Her To A Tea. She was the charmer of the group, Italian men would seek her out from all over the city, one such gentleman 'Miriam' wanted to show her his fine leather goods. It was an unsurpassed opportunity to observe the local inhabitants in their natural state.

Dorrissimo also procured many Italian treasures, including exquisite earrings whose number did not exceed ten. She bestowed upon the group many hours of Witty Banter and provided Direction in prompting members to think of Goals. She is considered by all in the group as a 'Hot Chick'. This supports the aforementioned hypothesis of Copious Gelati Consumption. She also demonstrated a special ability to induce trance-like states in other humans:


All in all, the Expedition was an absolute success, even though the team had never actually made it to Florence. Much happiness and frivolity was enjoyed by each member. The team recommends future visits to Pisa and this Firenze city to any other such groups.